Friday, 18 June 2010

I Wish I Were a Robot

I succumbed after all.  On my drive home tonight I bought a Lotto Max ticket.  Just pissed away $5 on a dream.

That dream is get out of my rut.  It's not that I hate my job, but I don't like it either.  My original plan was to work here for 3 years, get the experience and get out.  And then the tech crash that started the century happened.

So here I am 12 years later, bored out of my frakking skull.  It has long since passed the point of being a job I want to do, to becoming the job I need to do.  To need to do it for another 30 years.....  ugh.

So what do I want to do?  Get into consulting.   I do love implementing technological solutions to business problems.  But being a single income family, we need the health insurance and dependable income too much.  Maybe in a few years the risk will be more palatable.

To be fair to my employer, my problems are entirely my own.  Yeah there's things I bitch about, but find an employee that doesn't bitch about their job and you've found a corpse.  Or you're talking to Rick Mercer...  But other than those special few, the rest of us are stuck working for "the man" in one way or another.

My hours are my own, I get a good salary, I have the respect of my managers and yet I am not happy.  Why?  Because I think too god damned much!  If I could just turn it off, be more of a machine, I could get through the day.  As it is the illogical decisions, inconsistent priorities and irrational personalities are causing a slow death of a thousand cuts.  Stop me if this is your life too...

So I gave in to a 1 in 4 zillion dream.  Hell, it doesn't have to be the $50 mill, just one of the million dollar bonus draws would free up my options.

Call me a hypocrite, but if lightning strikes, I'll be a wealthy hypocrite!


Ken Breadner said...

We bought one too. It's long been my contention that lotteries are for simple fools who feel they don't pay enough in taxes, and my standard line to anyone who sputters at that is "would you choose to play the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 in a 6/49 draw...if not, why not?) So I guess I'm a simple fool who doesn't pay enough tax! But just think, I *could* be a rich fool, kind of like your wealthy hypocrite...

PeterC said...

Well, for me I've spent over $600(as a group) on the superMax this time around. I start a pool at work whenever it hits $50 mil and keep going until it isn't. It is a relatively small price to pay and cheaper than getting coffee every day as so many of us do.
Oh, and the good news, you didn't win the $50 mil. 'cause nobody did. See you next week. :)