Monday, 12 July 2010

One of these days! Pow! Right in the kisser! Straight to the Clouds!

Ahhh!! I can't take it anymore! The next person to mention "cloud computing" to me is going to experience physical violence.

The "cloud" is an outsourced hosting provider. Nothing more, nothing less.

The value of said hosting is the same as always. Value for the money. Anybody considering it has to consider the cost/benefit of outsourcing vs. DIY. They also have to consider performance, redundancy, security and more importantly ownership of data. It does not matter if it is a direct line hosted provider or an Internet based Cloud provider. Same shit, different pile.

So please, shut the fuck up about the importance of the cloud. It's part of an outsourcing trend, and I've been there before. It ain't appropriate for all companies no matter how you slice it.

This line slays me:
"Cloud computing will top the Internet in importance as development of the Web continues, according to a university professor who spoke Friday at the World Future Society conference in Boston."

Seeing as how the "cloud" requires the "Internet", that statement is faintly ridiculous. Its like saying your lips are more important than your face.

Also, "The cloud is even more important than the Web"

You know what else is more important than the web? E-mail. Businesses live and die by e-mail. More businesses can do without websites than they can without e-mail. But whatever. At some point organizations need everything they use. "Importance" only comes into play after a disaster and you have to bring stuff up in a particular order. Trumpeting one or the other is self glorifying mental masturbation.

Importance is relative. It is also unimportant when discussing cloud computing. Security, Stability, Performance, Price. That's what matters. That's what always matters.

Outsourcing is a tool, just like anything else. And the value of that tool is up to each organization to decide. Promoting the "cloud" over anything else is like promoting a contractor over owning your own hammer. Sometimes you need both, sometimes you need one or the other. It all depends.

So shut up please. Your hyperbole is giving me a headache.

UPDATER: This guy gets it.


PeterC said...

LOL, I'm working on a project to document a "cloud" database.... in the end, it is a distributed database on all servers and workstations which allows them to continue in the event of network failures.

Asking some pointed question to figure out what they were talking about it was basically the old subscription model where everyone subscribes to everything.

My head aches at the thought of what is going to happen when only part of the network goes down as has happened in the past.

Meh, at least it is paradigm changing in that it utilizes the synergistic potentials of web 2.0...

Catelli said...

Meh, at least it is paradigm changing in that it utilizes the synergistic potentials of web 2.0

Buzzword overkill.


At lest it guarantees me a job when it fucks up because it uses technology nobody understands in unusual ways.


Christopher Parsons said...

I don't know, the cloud seems to have revolutionized the pathways through which we can leverage the monetization cycle while enhancing long-term reliability and short-term satisfaction. It seem that key to this campaign for cloud computing is a maximization of the vitriolic streams of good sense decrying the uptake and positive effects of the cloud, while underlining the internal and external challenges faced by clients suffering from infrastructure under/over investment.

And to assume that such terminology that is required to speak of the cloud, in its internal, external, and middleware solutions, is some kind of 'buzzword overkill' fails to recognize the novel nature of networks in the contemporary era. Whereas one might agree with the statement that the words about would amount to 'buzzwork overkill' in a pre-cloud era, when we were speaking exclusively of outsourced servers, doing so belittles the genuinely significant evolutionary progress in contemporary software-as-a-service systems:

Old servers used electricity. Cloud servers run off sunshine, rainbows, and the tears of unicorns.


Catelli said...

Best... Comment.... EVER