Back in the mid-nineties I was a Computer Science Co-op student. We are all eager to get out into the work force and find out what "real" IT work was. After our first work semester we returned to class and swapped stories. Of course the most popular stores were about the dumb-ass users we had to support.
This was back in the day of 486 processors, DOS 5.x and Windows 3.1, but the following story still is quite relevant.
Fellow student was working the help-desk and had one user in particular that would complain daily about how slow here computer was. After doing every optimization trick in the book, it still wasn't enough.
So one day he told her "Here's a trick I learned. I don't tell it to everyone, because if you don't do it perfectly it doesn't work. You have to follow these instructions exactly. Take your mouse pointer and put it in the bottom left hand corner of the screen. Go straight up to the top left corner, then to the top right, down to the bottom right and back to the bottom left. Your mouse pointer cannot leave the edge of the screen or this won't work. Do this over and over again until the program loads. You will find it loads a lot faster when you do this trick."
He demonstrated what he meant, and then told her to try it. She studiously applied herself to keeping that pointer moving, and only touching the edge of the screen.
After a week he hadn't heard from her and ran into her in the office
"Thank-you so much for that trick! Ever since I started doing it, I find my computer is much faster!"
Genius. I bow before you.